Saturday was fun. I played in a soccer scrimmage, first game of soccer in a LONG time for me.
I played on my friends team, and we played against a team full of Koreans. Instead of 2 halves, we played 4 quarters. I believe the Koreans were trying out 4 different goalies. I was fine most of the game, until the last quarter. I realized how dehydrated I always am, how out of shape, and how much I miss playing soccer.
I've already started working on drinking more water and running. But it'll take a little while to get up to speed, my body is being broken down and getting sore. But its like I'm an old sword, being put into the forge fire and being beaten with a hammer against an anvil. I have to be broken down in order to become a swift, sharp, deadly blade once again.
As for the scrimmage, we won 4-3. :)
Scrimmageeeeeeeeee!
My Nemesis
Ah, once again I come face to face with my oldest friend and oldest enemy. My almighty nemesis. Exercise.
Being a little child I didn't know what "exercise" was. I was simply happy to run around because it was fun. Exercise had become one of my closest friends and allies. Then came sports, which was also fun, and became competitive. Exercise became even closer to me. After high school though.......... Being absent from physical fitness in any real form, and for such a long time, I had turned my friend Exercise against me. It hated me for betraying it, for stop paying attention to her, for forgetting all the great times we had together. Oh sure I've ran into my nemesis from time to time, but my nemesis would always win, would always dominate me and make me run away. Kind of like the little white rabbit in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", I always think of them saying "RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!!". I simply love it.
Now though, it is time for me to take a stand and win. I have always thought of people and situations they are place in, are they the type who cower and fear, do they simply TRY and fail and give up hope, or are they the kind who rise up to the challenge and simply DO, and succeed? I always thought myself to be the kind who rise up and meet the challenge, and I will be. I will conquer my nemesis this time. I will remind her that I haven't forgotten the old times, and we shall be friends and allies once again. We will be a stronger team than ever before. We will become one. We will be. We will do. We. Will. Win.
P.S. We crossed paths tonight nemesis. I've risen up to the fight. Let's dance.
Consistency
Consistency. The one of many things I lack, but its something that I must regain now.
Having no job, no friends to hang out with, no team to be a part of, and no girl to spend time with, all of those have played a part in the deterioration of what used to be my consistency.
I used to have a nice routine of getting up at a certain time, eating breakfast, getting ready by a certain hour, so on and so forth. School or a job helps with that, they force me go to bed early and wake up at the same time every day. Having neither of them, for a long period of time has eaten away at me. One can only take so many hours of looking through job postings until you run out of new ones. Day after day your hope diminishes a notch with no outcomes of anything on the horizon, which leads to less looking.
I am consistent in only two things.
#1 - Consistency in inconsistency. What I mean by this is, every day, or not, I'll shower at various hours of each day and sometimes not. I'll eat breakfast one day and then I won't the next. The list goes on. Nothing is ever at the same time as the previous few days. I'll go to bed whenever, usually late, and when I mean late I mean 1am - 4am. I'll wake up whenever.
#2 - Consistency in video games. I am not proud about this at all. I grew up playing video games, and I love them just as much as any other gamer, but I'm breaking the Golden rule and have gone far into a vice.(If I remember my philosophy right) Hopelessness has driven me into a hermit hole of just playing a fun(yet stupid) game. Because in the end all video games just waste time.
Like I mentioned before, I grew up playing video games. BUT!!! I also grew up playing a couple sports. I used to spend hours upon hours outside, across the street, playing basketball. In the Summer I'd wake up, eat, get ready, and play basketball all day and well into the evening and night. I also played a lot of soccer. I love both video games and sports(mainly soccer, and just running around), but balancing the two is very difficult.
Instead of spending precious hours playing a video game, I plan on using my time more effectively and towards something that will help me be healthier and to have some consistency in my life once again. I plan on playing soccer again.
I haven't been stuck in a dark hole, more like I've been stranded in a vast desert with the sun blaring high in the sky, but like both situations the hope hasn't been there.
What brought all this up? Oddly enough, The World Cup. Silly that something like that could bring some small amount of motivation, but I know that in the end it has to be me, the motivation has to come from within. Its been hard lately to get up and do anything, I sleep too much because I like my dreams and don't want to face reality, its hard to eat when you have no appetite for life thus I sometimes eat twice and even just once a day.
I am compiling a small routine to start following, and depending on how well I stick to it I will add to it. We'll see how things go.
