The Sunday Post - Issue #2

So here we are.  Again.

My sacramental A.D.D. was present again.  It didn't help that the girl I was sitting next to was also moving around a lot and doing various things.  She told me her whole family has A.D.D. pretty much.  Not only did I end up sitting next to her, I actually ran into her at "Famous Dave's".  I went there earlier in the week for my late birthday dinner and apparently she works there.  She even let the cat out of the bag and my server, parents, and her sang happy birthday to me and I got a free ice cream sundae.  I have to think of something to get her back, although on the other hand she got me a free sundae........

I've been having some negative feelings and thoughts in relation to my current situation.  What I'm about to share pre-dates today's feelings and it deals with driving.  Every now and then I will be driving and this crazy thought appears in my head, "What if I just keep driving so fast and drive right into that building?", or wall, or whatever.  What would it be like to just end it quickly or cause severe injury to one self like that?  Of course I would never do it.  Ever.  It probably would be nice sometimes but I wouldn't do it.  For one, I like my car, and I like not having to spend money to fix it.  Then there is my body of course.  What would it be like though?!  Two other things come to mind while I've been driving.  "What if I don't get off this exit but instead just keep driving and driving until I reach some place new and start over?"  Now that would be crazy.  The other thing deals with a fear and it usually only happens when I'm driving behind certain things, for example a truck with its tailgate down and in it there are tons of poles(like flagpoles or poles/tubes for a sprinkler system), then this thought comes in, "What if one of those poles gets loose and comes flying through my windshield and spearing me through my eye?".  Gruesome?  Yes.  But I can't help it.  Other things that go along with that would be like "What if that chain snaps and hits me?" or "What if a bolt come flying off a tire and through my windshield?"  Anyway....... moving on!

So these negative feelings aren't really negative, but one could tell I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad either.  All I can do is thank whatever struggle I'm trying to endure and overcome, because without it I could not grow.  As much as I don't want to thank my struggle or for God for giving it to me, I must.  I wouldn't have it if I couldn't overcome it.  Interesting thing today in church, if we haven't had a trial in while we have been told to actually pray for one.  An example someone shared was about someones uncle.  Everything was going fine, kids going to college, career was fine, and he asked for a trial.  Two weeks later his wife died.  Of course he didn't want something like that, but it makes you think.

Another thing brought up was things we get for free.  People will enjoy and play with whatever they got for free for a little bit but it gets old and tossed out pretty dang quick.  Things we work for and put forth energy to obtain are things we end up keeping around and sometimes cherishing.  God doesn't just hand out free things, because He wants us to appreciate what we get, He wants us to earn things that mean something to us.  This gets me thinking about a lot of stuff, the main thing that comes to mind was basketball. 

I used to play, shoot hoops, a lot growing up.  When I say a lot I mean a lot.  I would come home from school with homework usually already done, grab the basketball and start playing on my neighbor's hoop.  Six to seven hours later, sometimes more, with a quick dinner gobbled down, it would be time for bed.  Yup, I played that much.  I would even play when it was windy or raining/snowing.  Simple solution was: put some gloves on and maybe a jacket.  The whole downside to all of this was I was short.  I was one of the shortest kids growing up through elementary and most of middle school.  Still, to this day, I'm only 5'8".  While most NBA players are 6'1"+, that is half a foot taller and longer arms than myself.  Maybe I should of tried reaching there anyway, kind of late to do that now though.

The reason I thought of that first was because I put a lot of energy and time into becoming a better player, dribbler, shooter, etc.  That was then.  This is now.  I think of now and my energy and time isn't being put to good use to something that I truly want.  The motivation isn't there.  Which got me thinking of why I don't go running or play basketball anymore, where has my motivation gone?  What motivates me now?  I'll be honest, I have no idea.  I struggle to get up each day, because I know I don't have a class to attend to or a job to go to.  I've become addicted to my sweet dreams that my brain conjures up while I sleep.  I go back to sleep because I know its another empty, dreary day, or I simply press the snooze button a bajillion times.  God knows what motivates me, He knows how we all work and think.  I wish I knew what motivates me.  Some how I'm still here.  Still breathing.  Still living.  Some how.

Today's quote is related to our topics in church:  music.  And if you know me, I'm a huge music fan, aside from my strange beginnings with it, but that is for another time.

Two Quotes for today:

Quote #1 - "Hymns play an essential role in spirituality, revelation, and conversion.

"Hymns are 'an essential part of our church meetings. [They] invite the Spirit of the Lord' (Hymns, ix). They often do this quicker than anything else we may do. President J. Reuben Clark Jr. said, 'We get nearer to the Lord through music than perhaps through any other thing except prayer' (in Conference Report, Oct. 1936, 111)."  - Jay E. Jensen,  "The Nourishing Power of Hymns," Ensign, May 2007, 11.

Quote #2 - “A wise man once said, ‘Music is one of the most forceful instruments for governing the mind.’ Whether it governs in a positive way or a negative way is determined by what it brings onto the stage of your mind. If you can say that a song is spiritually inspiring or that it urges you to see yourself in a more noble perspective, the music is worthwhile. If it merely entertains or lifts your spirits, then it also has a useful place. But if it makes you want to respond in a carnal, sensual way or to consider unrighteous desires, then that music should be avoided. It is not worthy.”  - Boyd K. Packer,   "The Message: Worthy Music, Worthy Thoughts,” New Era, Apr. 2008, 9.