The Sunday Post - Issue #6

Nothing special happened today really.  I have kind of been in a weird zone all day.  Church was a typical church day, prayers were said, hymns sung, and talks given.  The only odd thing I happened to notice was after our final meeting/class, which happens to be priesthood and relief society, the majority of guys went out the room only to stand in the hall by the stairs.  Were they waiting for the girls to come down?  Possibly, and the most likely answer, but still odd because so many of them were standing there.  I really didn't care and went on my way and left.

I went with my parents to visit my grandparents for a few hours.  It was nice as usual, especially since I haven't seen them in a while.  Nothing fancy happened there, just a bunch of conversing.

Lately my mind keeps wandering back to a couple things.  One being this: Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?  I have talked about my situation a bit before and it feels like I am not contributing anything to anyone in any form.  I can't help thinking about it even if I don't want to or try not to.  It is my human nature to think about how I will survive and thrive in this life so that I can move forward.  The other thing my mind keeps thinking about is this:  Should I really go after something relative to a dream, no matter how crazy or absurd the majority of people think it will be?  I don't even know if I should expand on this or not.  I want to, need to, get these thoughts out and down on something, or merely to share it with someone other than God.  But I'm actually afraid to do just that.  I'm afraid.  I'm never afraid of anything really, so why this and why now?  Yes I know a lot of people will laugh at me and my absurd idea, and a lot will have mixed feelings and a ton of doubt, and others will give "encouragement" to be nice, while a rare sliver (if any at all really) will back me up with everything they have.  I know all that.  And I know that to get some where great, to be something great, that the road there will be long and hard, but well worth it.  The trick is having enough faith, in the right things.  Faith in God.
Faith in yourself.

On Saturday I was able to go to an event that had a few speakers.  Mentioned by one of them was the fact that something like 77% of our own thoughts are negative and that another percentage (similar to 77%) of sicknesses and other health related problems either mentally, emotionally, physically, are self-induced.  Where they got these statistics or so-called facts eludes me because I don't recall them stating anything of the sort, but I agree with them though.  We as humans tend to think negatively, a lot.  We can easily see other peoples strengths while thinking we don't have any, and we love to compare our weaknesses with other peoples strengths.  We worry and fret far too much and end up thinking we have this sickness or ailment when we really don't, our minds do amazing things.  Anyway, having faith in yourself, knowing what your true strengths are will help you move forward and through hard times.  Knowing that you can do something, you just have to have faith in yourself and simply believe.  I seem to love to give advice, yet I need to learn how to take my own advice.  I realize that I am afraid to try going for a crazy dream because what if I don't succeed?  I can have faith in myself and believe and still come short, because possibly I won't have what it takes but a certain margin.  I really do want to try, because that is the only way to know if you will succeed or not.  It's as simple as that.  I have come to hate when people say "there is no try", "there is only do or do not", "blah blah blah", "insert actual Yoda quote".  Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on Yoda, he's awesome.  But life isn't Star Wars, life isn't a movie.  There is a try, and it is the only thing we can do to find out if we make it or not.  In some things we can keep trying until we reach the right answer or end, other things not so much.  Just go for it though.  Just do it.  Just try.  Just try, because you will never know if you don't.

Quote of the Day(Faith):

"Challenges, difficulties, question, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have enormous spiritual reservoirs of light and truth available to us. Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time. In our days of difficulty, we choose the road of faith. Jesus said, 'Be not afraid, only believe' (Mark 5:36)."   - Neil L. Andersen            You Know Enough, Ensign," Nov. 2008, 14