Duel

Why does it hurt so bad?

Huh, my mood just changed completely because of the song I'm listening to, specifically these lyrics:

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave.
You were what I wanted. I gave what I gave.
I'm not sorry I met you.
I'm not sorry its over.
I'm not sorry there is nothing to say.
I'm not sorry. There's nothing to say."

I'm still in a rut that I can't figure how to get out of.

Its like I'm fighting myself. And I don't know who the good guy is. Or who will win. Maybe neither of them are good, just two evils duking it out. Maybe I'm doomed no matter the outcome. DOOMED?!?! If only I could clear my thoughts and think straight for just a minute. If only.